Realization of Sexuality after Trans Vaginoplasty
Changes in sexuality
Sexuality is a funny thing and honestly it is a balancing act that I am not even sure I fully understand. Sometimes things change, other times it is more revealed when something major happens.
So all my life I had the idea that I was a lesbian even in the ghost of a body before transition. This was how I viewed my own sexuality reguardless of hormone replacement therapy that didn’t change anything. I only liked women, and couldn’t even imagine that I would actually like a male of any type.
The situation has become a million times more complicated and when I say that I mean it, I mean it with my entire heart.
I have begun to miss already, only 10 weeks after surgery the physical touch, the thought of what it might feel like to have a real penis inside me. After the use of dilation, after forcing a hard dildo or something inside my beauitful new vagina every day I wonder what it would be like to feel the body of another thrusting inside me.
The interesting thing is, its not only about the penis or physical feelings, the strange desire’s of, sexual running thoughts, and selecting of which man might look appealing or handsome to me. What shocks me even more is while not all guys are appealing to me there are some that are.
Now by all means I love women, and still have a crazy high desire for women but now if a man was to show me the right attention and I thought they were handsome OMG there really is a chance for him now that wasn’t there to me before vaginoplasty.
I think with sexuality really being a mind twisting conundrum that I don’t have any answers for. I believe adding labels doesn’t really accomplish anything for me but I think now I am more Pansexual or bisexual then I ever truly thought.
I guess for some it might just be the easy way to unlock hidden desires after vaginoplasty but for me it a whole new world. I don’t even know if a guy would be interested in me especially with all the social media political hate but who knows.
Now that I am single, I have to figure out what next. Any takers 🤣🤣🤣